Ground Yourself

I've got a problem. Two Words = JET. LAG.

I'm currently staying in Utah for the next couple weeks. I will be returning back to Hawaii on the 16th. Lately I've been really confused about my life and what the heck I am doing, mostly because I've been living out of a suitcase for over a month. As soon as I got off the plane here in Utah I immediately felt at home. "oh dear" I can't start feeling that way, I'll want to move here.. then all over the country for me again. Not that pattern again. Today however was one of the first times I started to miss Hawaii a little bit. I've been in Utah for about 3-4 days now. I miss the beach, I miss family and I'm looking forward to start my job when I get back and start meeting people from all over the world. I'm looking forward to grow my roots. I think Hawaii will be a great opportunity for me. My first couple days here I could tell this is what I've been missing in my life, independence, laughter, being forced to meet other people my age on my own. I sincerely miss that in my life and I realized that's why I've loved Utah. It will always have a special place in my heart.

There has been some other reasons I've been lost lately and that includes relationships, love, friendships, etc. The other night I had a conversation with a really good/old friend of mine. He reminded me once again who I am. He made me realize my losses in the past can be made overcome and not through my constant moving around that I've been doing for the last 6 months, but by simply depending on those around me, getting on my knees and praying, find something to ground yourself and get to enjoy yourself again. I guess I've been a little bitter and a little hurt from different relationships that I've had these past couple years. Some relationships could have ended better, but some happened for a reason and at the time that they needed to. If there's one lesson I've learned in my life that has been huge it's knowing that you can't change anyone. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you love and care for someone, they have to change for themselves. It hurts to stand by and let someone disregard who they are but agency is a god given gift for each of us individually and we have to learn to accept that we can't or SHOULDN'T take that away from ANYONE!

One of my best friends is getting married this weekend. (The Blonde in the picture with me!) I'm THRILLED!!! It's amazing to talk to her and listen to her talk about an eternal progression in her life. I'm slightly envious but more so thrilled and excited for this next chapter in her life. The more friends I see get married, the more I desire it for myself. My envy is their happiness my goal is to have that same happiness someday.

Like one girl spoke in her testimony this weekend, there is a reason for everything and there is a reason that it happens when it does. The truth of the gospel and life is we are learning and progressing step by step individually. Sometimes that step is a quicker pace for another or slower for someone else, but in the end we are all reaching that same end result and if we have that in mind we will have a deeper understanding and respect for everyone around us.

I just need to keep in mind to always look up and never down at my feet. Don't be so hard on yourself if you trip, just lift your head up high again and dust yourself off. Like is about discoveries even if it's in a way we don't want to discover.