The Silver Linings on My Grey Clouds

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecc. 3:1

Opening my mission call.

My mission call to Portland, Oregon.

Girl chats with my roommate.

A time to reflect on what I'm grateful for.

Creating Cards.

Waking up for Missionary Preparation with President Wheelwright.

Having the beach just a ten minute walk away.

Service.

Words from ancient prophets close to my finger tips.

Trevor,Lauren and Jason and Michelle moments away.

Afternoons/Mornings with Deacon Kai Ellsworth and mommy.

The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, coming to Laie, HI.

Pouring rain while laying in my bed taking naps.

Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes and warm homemade rolls.

Gathering around a table with family in friends.

Eating late with friends in the kitchen.

Oreos and Milk.

Knelling in prayer at any time of day.

Saying "ALOHA" to a stranger.

Finally deciding my major.

Starting my major when I come home from my mission.

Being creative.

Breathing fresh air.

"Mahalo!"

Missionary moments.

Finally meeting Victor Benjamin Holman.

December 26th.

The David and Nikki Olave Wedding.

Christmas with the family.

A month to spend with my parents before my mission.

Entering the MTC on February 3, 2010.

You are assigned to labor in the....

OREGON PORTLAND (English Speaking) MISSION!!!

I opened my call on Friday October 30th with some of my family, some on speakerphone, and some of my friends in Hawaii!(That's my brother Trevor that served in Oregon and my brother Josh is on the phone there with him.)

You can watch me opening my call here.
My brother Josh kept asking me what was going through my head. I just said, NOTHING! I have no idea. I'm just anxious. That's the truth. Not much goes through your head when you find out. It's been a letter I've been waiting to receive for MONTHS now and I was just excited to prepare for the next step! As I've received my call I've been doing a lot of "googling" ...."Portland, Oregon", "Portland, OR Mission" ETC. There have been a few blogs I've run into which say they're going to portland oregon on their mission, disappointed is one of the first emotions described. DISAPPOINTED!??? How can people put that about a mission the Lord has called them too. Where apostles pray over where to send you and Heavenly father gives them direct revelation on where they will be needed the most. There are NO coincidences in the gospel. We're sent where we are suppose to go for a reason. HOW EXCITING!! I actually consider going to my brother's mission a tender mercy. I feel like there is someone there to teach that wasn't ready when my brother was there and now I get that opportunity. Perhaps my brother and I had a friend in heaven that we said we would find and baptize that my brother wasn't able to find. Now I get that opportunity. Or perhaps this will just give me an opportunity to draw closer to my brother in our testimonies about missionary work. For whatever reason... I know I have been called there for a purpose. I AM SO EXCITED!
It was great to have friends and family there while I opened my call. (Especially to have my mom in town this weekend!) I'm so thrilled for this next step in my life and pray that my brothers and sisters in portland will except my companion and me in their house and that they will accept Jesus Christ and his gospel in their lives.

Thank you EVERYONE for helping me get thus far in my life! :)

¡Mi llamada estará en el miercoles!! :)

My call will be in on Wednesday!!
I'm so excited!!! I meet with the stake president tomorrow night and then he'll put my calling in. He told me that they process my paperwork and it will take 10-14 days. SO FAST! Except it'll probably feel like forever! I feel like Christmas will come early this year! Part of me is hoping that my call will come sooner than later because my mom is coming out the end of the month.

I calculated it and the latest that I would get my calling would be (if we're talking business days) October 26th. My mom will come out the 29th. Just a couple days of waiting to open it while she's here! Although it may seem stressful to wait. I think I could contain myself for a couple days... maybe.
I was talking to my mom the other day and I am actually more excited to go through the temple! I can not WAIT to take out my endowments and finally be able to go through the temple on my own. I'm looking forward to the day to see all my family together in white. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking it.

What a busy/crazy year this has been for me and for my family! Two of my sisters are going to be due here at anytime, my other sister is getting married and I will be getting a mission call! My mom is probably going insane. :)

Oh this is more for my family but... SAVE THE DATE... As soon as I get my mission call and speak with my stake president I'll call the mesa temple but I'm pretty sure that I'll be taking out my endowments on December 26th! (I know, that's right in the middle of things but I get in to Arizona on the 23rd and this was the only day that really was free on the temple calendar before Nikki's wedding. So I'm extending an informal invite to my brothers and sisters & in-laws that anyone that wants to join me for taking out my endowments that day is welcome to join me in white!)

I'm praying that I get sent somewhere where the Lord needs me. Where I can use my talents to the greatest of my ability. Some place that will be challenging but still attainable to do the work. Somewhere were I will meet people that only I can help. I pray that the Lord is preparing them as he has been preparing me that when I meet them we may both be edified and rejoice together! I'm going to find my brothers and sisters that have been waiting to enter into the covenant. I am getting nervous and satan has been doing all he can to stop this from happening for me but I feel like with the Lord's help that I have been SO greatly blessed! I am so anxious for these next steps in my life, for the blessings that will come to me and my family as we both prepare together. SO EXCITING!!! :) These next few months are going to be crazy but also amazing!! I look forward to the preparations and the next steps in life!

Oh and my dad challenged us to read the Book of Mormon and so for me I'm challenging myself to reread it and finish it before I go to the temple! I am praying that with this challenge that the Lord will bless me and that I in return to be able to better prepare myself. Anyone who's going to the temple with me is more than welcome to join in the challenge! :)

YOU Are a Child of God.

You... YES YOU -are a child of God.

I've been learning a lot of valuable lessons in the deepest effect possible that has helped me realize the very nature of god, who we are and what we can become. The greatest lesson I've been learning is our time here on earth is precious and that we literally are sons and daughters of God. The Lord has been blessed me with a lot of trials some that others have experienced that I have been able to see through their eyes while I told their hand. Other trials have literally been when I was in the very flames of satan. Through each of these I've seen the hand of God in my life. This is the beauty of life. Our savior is aware of what we can handle and what we must go through to know who we are and know who he is, to better appreciate the foundation of life, the atonement.

This weekend I had a scare as one of my close friends/residents decided to overdose. Through the events that took place all within 6 hours of going to hospital, etc I was shocked at the effect it would have on her best friend and her. I didn't know how to comfort or how to take in all that was going on. When I sat there staring at my friend in the hospital bed the spirit hit me very strong and one word came to mind, pray. I prayed my hardest for comfort for the friends around her and for the health of my friend. I prayed that she would realize who she is and just prayed that we would all get through it. As I finished the prayer I looked up and wiped the tears from my eyes. My eyes turned to my friends frail body in the bed and I noticed that she started to speak. She started to talk a lot to her friends around her, she started to regain consciousness. The first lesson I learned that day was the power of prayer. Through the remainder of the weekend and the events that followed I realized her actions had a huge effect on her friends around her. I realized she didn't know the effects it would have and I realized how much the lord loves us. As she was released from the hospital and came into my room I sat her down and spoke boldly.

"The Lord loves you. You are a daughter of God." The rest of what I spoke about is history. The fine and minor details of the story seep into the cracks as I think about the main lesson that was being taught during this whole experience. You are a child of God. What does that mean?? The very beauty of the Gospel is that we are children of our heavenly father. Christ himself knows what its like when a person thinks sucicidal thoughts. He knows what it's like to be hooked up to IVs. He knows the thoughts and pains that a friend goes through watching their friend laying helplessly in a hospital bed. The atonement is real. It is only through the atonement that we can realize who we are and what we can become. Our Savior has great faith and courage in us. We need to do our part and believe in ourselves.

Sometimes we are put through the refiner's fire so that we may appreciate the savior's hand in our life. Through this whole experience I have also realized that EVERY soul is great in the sight of God. Without him we are nothing. With him we are everything. The atonement is real and we can become like our savior someday, only through him. Whatever that takes, we will be able to someday be like him. The idea of this is POWERFUL! ....WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

I Hope They Call Me On A Mission

For those who aren't aware yet, I'm getting ready to go on a mission!

This semester has been extremely hard for me only because I was focusing on mission papers more than my school and work. I'm afraid I didn't try my best this term but, I think the end results will be well worth it when I open my mailbox in a few weeks and see my call waiting for me!

About a 4 years ago upon praying about a serious relationship I received a strong desire to serve in the Lord's kingdom and becoming a missionary instead. As the years have passed my desire has grown even stronger. One year ago I prayed about leaving Utah to go home and start preparing for a mission, the Lord however had other goals in mind. I instead went to LDSBC and when Christmas came I thought a mission was the next thing to do. However once again the Lord had other plans in mind. The Lord saw fit for me to learn the importance of his time. Over the next semester I fear I've become my worst enemy, Prideful and stubborn. I wanted to serve so bad and wasn't paying attention to the Lord's timing. I was focusing on my own timing in life. During an adventurous semester I went home for a weekend and received a blessing from my grandfather. The blessing was powerful and encouraging inviting me to have the spirit in my life and to continue to endure. I started to live my life in Salt Lake. When the semester came to an end I was so lost of what to do next. Over a lot of moving within the next 3 months I found myself in Hawaii! Not sure about my major or if a mission was even in the picture anymore. I decided to seriously consider my options that were ahead. I prayed and fasted and started thinking mission thoughts again.

One Sunday as my brother laid his hands on my head the spirit worked within my heart, and even into my tears. I began to rejoice as if I heard the voice of the Lord saying "my dear and faithful servant" the spirit worked so powerfully within me, now was my time to start preparing for a mission. Oh the power of priesthood! I will never forget that blessing, the spirit that I felt. Little did I know that Satan also began to develop plans of his own. My brother gave me a warning to my decision as he said satan would work hard on me for the next couple weeks. Soon I found out that would be an understatement!

For the last few weeks I've been working earnestly to get paperwork done. Once again I have been tested with the "lord's timing" and the trial of patience. When I get on my knees to pray I feel comforted. When I exclaim to others that I will be serving a full time mission the spirit fills my heart. I know that the Lord is aware of me. I know that the Satan is trying his hardest to keep me from spreading the work that needs to be done. But, I also know that no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing.

I have received my answer to serve the Lord and I anxiously look forward to entering the mission field. It will be a tough next few months as I anxiously leave for my mission but I know that it will be of most rewarding to me.
My current status?? I finished my mission papers! I spoke with my bishop on sunday and he will then forward his recommendation to my stake president. I will then meet with my stake president and he will submit my mission papers to church headquarters. I wrote him an e-mail yesterday and he said after my mission papers are submitted it should take up to 10-14 days to receive my mission call. I hope that that means I'll be receiving my mission call by the end of the month or at the beginning of October!

Please pray for me that the next few months go smoothly for me as I will continue to pray for you. I will let everyone know my mission call soon! :)

Working. Waiting. Willing.

The Lord brings us low so he can lift us high.

There has been huge trials in my life lately, mostly with patience. After receiving an answer to my prayers lately and trying to follow it out I've been blessed with trials. I'm slowly becoming humbled. You might think it's funny that I say "blessed with trials" but let me explain.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you just simply asked for something and received it without out working for it? Isn't this the same principle of stealing? It's not just a law on earth to work for what we need, it comes from God. After receiving answers to prayers we need to work, or act upon our answers. A couple deciding to get married doesn't just decide to get married and that's the end of their happy lives. Although at times watching "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid" I thought that happily ever after meant just that. No. Since when did "work" become just a bad word anyway? We can have fun working. We can have building each other up and helping and serving each other all the while doing it.

I am grateful for this waiting period in my life right now because the Lord is blessing me an opportunity to keep studying out the decision in my mind, preparing, and a time for repentance. The Lord gives us a waiting period in life or a "work" period in life so we can be even more grateful when the blessing(s) come! It may be going to the temple together with your fiance after a long engagement, wedding preparation period. It may be that new missionary checking the mail and finding their call in the mailbox after a month of reopening their mailbox. It may even be that moment that a new mother screams "my water broke!" after a 9 month period of swelling feet or restless sleep nights.

Whatever the situation in life the Lord prepares us. Or at least gives us the time to prepare ourselves. The feeling with each of these situations we become even more grateful when we are able to look back at the "HARDEST TIMES" and think to ourselves, "Well. That wasn't so bad!"

Life may be hard right now but the waiting period is worth it. The preparation period is worth it. There is a scripture in Alma that reads "Go forth... yet ye shall be patient in long suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good example unto them in me." We must be examples of Christ during times of affliction or during our "waiting periods" of life. Then finally when that time comes where our pride is humbled, when we've laid down our guards, the lord will say "well done". There is no greater feeling than to know you could have done all that you could.

The Lord will bless us when we least expect it but we have to be willing to work during the waiting period and willing to come unto Him in the end.

Speed Dating, ice cream, rain, FUN FUN FUN!

It's been a while. but. HERE I AM!! IN HAWAII!!! (AND it's been pouring rain all day! So much for the beach!)

I'm working as an RA right now and I've just set up a program for next week.

SPEED DATING!!! These little hoodlums better come and enjoy this activity!! I put a bold emphasis on the words "root beer floats and cookies" :)

I'm looking forward to this next week for this activity and to start really focusing on school. I've realized something lately and I'm excited to finalize plans so that I can start telling people. STAY TUNED! I've been feeling so happy lately, I can't complain. I've been meeting a lot of fun girls and look forward to my classes. There has been one class that's kinda scared me lately so I decided I needed to change my attitude. It's been a humbling experience for me. As soon as I changed my attitude I started learning so much! It's actually the class I'm looking forward to the most. Tomorrow I have all day off so some of us girls are planning on running errands all over "exploring hawaii" I'm looking forward to it! AND I'm off to lunch. Hope everyone is having a happy day as well!

oh. found this picture the other day on my laptop. (me and mom right before our trip to hawaii!) MISS YOU MOM!! LOVE YOU!!

New Places. New Faces

I don't know how to gather my thoughts yet but, it's official, I'm living in Hawaii now. I've just moved into my dorm this afternoon and am NOT living out of a suitcase anymore. Thank heavens.

I started training for my new job today which goes on until Tuesday. There are various levels of how strict or not strict we need to be with our new job and the level of importance we are, amongst other things. In all honesty I can't help but be a little uneasy, nervous, overwhelmed. I feel for the next few months I'll definitely be depending on the Lord more. I don't know what I would do without prayer. I feel like I've been lost lately in my life, living out of suitcases, moving around, and now I'm finally settled and THROWN into it! I'm super nervous for this next chapter in my life because I'm still unsure about some choices I am making. They're good choices but, are they the best choices? Is there a better choice for me out there? Am I wasting my time?

I guess all I can say and express now is that this an experience now that I just have to pray that everything will work towards my benefit. I hope this next experience in life will mold me and shape me. I don't know what to expect but through out life we don't know what to expect. All the Lord can ask from us is to be prepared as much as we know how.

Ground Yourself

I've got a problem. Two Words = JET. LAG.

I'm currently staying in Utah for the next couple weeks. I will be returning back to Hawaii on the 16th. Lately I've been really confused about my life and what the heck I am doing, mostly because I've been living out of a suitcase for over a month. As soon as I got off the plane here in Utah I immediately felt at home. "oh dear" I can't start feeling that way, I'll want to move here.. then all over the country for me again. Not that pattern again. Today however was one of the first times I started to miss Hawaii a little bit. I've been in Utah for about 3-4 days now. I miss the beach, I miss family and I'm looking forward to start my job when I get back and start meeting people from all over the world. I'm looking forward to grow my roots. I think Hawaii will be a great opportunity for me. My first couple days here I could tell this is what I've been missing in my life, independence, laughter, being forced to meet other people my age on my own. I sincerely miss that in my life and I realized that's why I've loved Utah. It will always have a special place in my heart.

There has been some other reasons I've been lost lately and that includes relationships, love, friendships, etc. The other night I had a conversation with a really good/old friend of mine. He reminded me once again who I am. He made me realize my losses in the past can be made overcome and not through my constant moving around that I've been doing for the last 6 months, but by simply depending on those around me, getting on my knees and praying, find something to ground yourself and get to enjoy yourself again. I guess I've been a little bitter and a little hurt from different relationships that I've had these past couple years. Some relationships could have ended better, but some happened for a reason and at the time that they needed to. If there's one lesson I've learned in my life that has been huge it's knowing that you can't change anyone. No matter how hard you try, no matter how much you love and care for someone, they have to change for themselves. It hurts to stand by and let someone disregard who they are but agency is a god given gift for each of us individually and we have to learn to accept that we can't or SHOULDN'T take that away from ANYONE!

One of my best friends is getting married this weekend. (The Blonde in the picture with me!) I'm THRILLED!!! It's amazing to talk to her and listen to her talk about an eternal progression in her life. I'm slightly envious but more so thrilled and excited for this next chapter in her life. The more friends I see get married, the more I desire it for myself. My envy is their happiness my goal is to have that same happiness someday.

Like one girl spoke in her testimony this weekend, there is a reason for everything and there is a reason that it happens when it does. The truth of the gospel and life is we are learning and progressing step by step individually. Sometimes that step is a quicker pace for another or slower for someone else, but in the end we are all reaching that same end result and if we have that in mind we will have a deeper understanding and respect for everyone around us.

I just need to keep in mind to always look up and never down at my feet. Don't be so hard on yourself if you trip, just lift your head up high again and dust yourself off. Like is about discoveries even if it's in a way we don't want to discover.

The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

WOW! What a fantastic day! Just when you start to say "oh me, oh my"...
One word. Gratitude.

I'm grateful for a LOVING family that is so knowledgeable in the gospel and attentive to the spirit. I am grateful for the opportunity to share with others my future goals and feel proud of myself. I am grateful to have been truly given an opportunity to share the gospel.

Tonight was one of the best nights I've had in a while. However I partially feel somewhat foolish. I had an opportunity one night to ask my friend if he would ever be interested in reading the Book of Mormon, explaining to him that everyone should be given an opportunity to learn and to grow regardless if they chose to follow certain council, they should at least have the option to chose for themselves. After my invitation he said he wouldn't mind reading the book of mormon at all! (This was about 3-2 weeks ago.) Meanwhile, Tonight he text me and asked if I still wanted to borrow a book of his that I had bought with him at the store! DEFINITELY! I said. So he said, okay I'll let you borrow it for when you go to hawaii! I'll swing it by tonight." okay great! While handing me the book he said, Can I borrow that book that you were telling me about? The book of mormon?, I said, kinda startled. It felt weird refering to it to just a book. Ya. I paused for a second, set back, "-YA! OF course! Hey, I have tons of copies! You can have the book!" Are you sure? he says. -OF COURSE!

You can hardly believe the tone in my voice. What the heck is wrong with me? I should have been more prepared here we are in the gospel where we are asked to give OUT the book of mormon, invite others to read it, invite people to come unto christ and I'm standing here being asked from someone unaware of how powerful the gospel is to share it with him. Who am I to judge if someone isn't ready to hear the gospel when they already think they are!
So here I am. kinda dumbfounded and embarrassed because I don't have important scriptures highlighted, I don't have my testimony written in. Just a few phrases underlined through out the book. I feel silly. So under prepared. I'm not a very good missionary. But I think to myself, what requires a good missionary? Having scriptures memorized or being prepared spiritually with your testimony?


We moved our book exchange over to the swing while we sat and I kinda shared a couple things with him. My mind was SUDDENLY unclouded of something that Richard G. Scott had said to me last Friday. "Give your friend a book of mormon and highlight or emphasize a scripture, like in nephi, that will make the book more personal" Okay. PERFECT! As we sat down I remember 1 Nephi 19:23, liken the scriptures unto yourself. I told him to read it, he said he would need a translator. haha. I said he'd get the hang of it after he read it through after a while. I explained and challenged him to read the book like a book, a story, and to compare the verses and stories to what's going on his own life and really take heed to what's been written in this book to your own life. After explaining this I explained that the Book of Mormon has helped me get through some tough times, when I'm doubting myself or going through struggles I can look up scriptures about faith that will encourage me to press forward. After a minute of discussing I could tell some questions were swelling inside him, he asked if the catholic church was anything like the mormon church. I explained to him when christ was born on the earth he was sent here to start his own church with apostles, and disciples. When he died those truths that he founded were corrupted because -have you ever played the game telephone? It's kinda like when it gets to the end the actual writting is mixed up with man made words, that's kind of like the Church. The book of mormon was translated through joseph smith, word for word, not passed through a bunch of different mouths. These scriptures testify of Christ's coming to the Americas. Today we have a prophet on the earth, just like ancient times where they recieve direct revelation. I believe that's how our church is different in one -BIG- way. We talked about a few other things. My smile was HUGE when I got in the house I want to pass another "book" out tomorrow! I encouraged him to call me if he struggled with any questions and that I would be glad to help.

I can't put words to my feelings, I'm estatic right now. I don't know if he'll get much out of the book but I hope and pray that the book of mormon will change his life as I know it has mine. I hope he feels burning in his chest and I hope I can help him search through it with him. I want to be an instrument in the Lord's hands.

I am so blessed!

STRESS

I have a lot of stress lately that it's interfering in the daily routine. Wait. what daily routine?? Good question. So lately I haven't been doing anything but playing with friends. I thought I would be happy but turns out the thing that makes me the most happy is being in school, learning, exploring, struggling but still doing everything I know to be right. I'm not really stressing about school right now and due to my wide open schedule I've been worrying a lot more about bigger problems. Problems that I can't control. My biggest struggle is that these problems lie on the very base of my morals, values, ideas, that heart of my testimony and I'm struggling. Everything, okay not everything, but one of the basis of what I believed in is starting to shake. I feel like someone pulled the rug RIGHT from underneath me. I pray for sunshine but even Joseph Smith and Jesus Christ suffered before they were approached by an angel, or the voice of God. (Or so that's what I keep telling myself!)

I've been incredibly stressed lately. I've been crying abnormally high lately and its starting to hurt me physically. I start to wake up with more headaches than usual and I don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to, or if its all in my head and I need to grit my teeth and learn to bear it. There's been a lot of ups and downs at my house that I used to call home. When did it turn from a house to a home? When did it turn to a place that I didn't look forward to come to? I start to get discouraged when I think I can't help or do anything about situations I'm currently going through. I can't help but think about it, but the rough part of it all is I hate feeling this way because I know I can be better and start getting on myself even more.

I wish I had something beautiful to write right now, some poetry, literature, something I could shine from. The truth of the matter is, sometimes life has Grey clouds so we can someday have endless sunny days and appreciate them even more.

I've been pleading more in my own heart about what to do right now in my life instead of talking to everyone, or anyone else. Last night for the first time I kinda let some of my emotions out on my friend and this morning slightly felt guilty about it but somewhat relieved. Sometimes even when we're struggling in the very depths of our hearts know we can do better, and when we shy away from that at any time, during any struggle we regret it. The worst of it all is there is someone out there that I need to talk to, but I seem to be talking to the wrong people about it. My closest friends know how positive and faithful I can be, when I start to fall anything short, they don't want to hear about it. I don't blame them. There's nothing worse than a sour puss.

I think I know who I need to talk, but that's the very last person I would like to approach...

There are reasons for what we go through... I'm just still trying to figure out the reason and the time for it right now.

You Wood.

Design is embedded in me. Even when I try to run far from design, it finds me. Last night after looking at a bunch of nursery decorations with my sister I start "blog surfing" this morning and last night. I ran across some incredible ideas. So I've decided in my "next life" I'm going to be a carpenter. :) Okay, maybe not. But my hat goes off to those who have the time and skills to make incredible furniture and decorations out of a simple piece of wood.

I absolutely love this idea. I love texture so I guess that's what struck me the most from this. The furniture should be crisp and modern with a wall as crazy as this. With some pops of color!





I love this stair case. I would definitely have this in my house if I could. Another idea, wood crates for a stair case! Is that possible? Anything is possible! You could always cover the concrete with wood slabs, some sanding and staining work!







Is this Cafe an indoors or outdoors cafe!? Why not both. What a cool company. http://www.naturemaker.com/index.php
(artificial steel trees) They had one in the middle of a gym too!! I love this idea. This cafe looks cozy, I'd eat there.




Okay. but let's be realistic.. who can bring in a whole tree into their house!? How about a branch then, and lets add lights!




hmm. The ideas and possibilities are ENDLESS! I love design! :)

Bring on the Arizona Summer!

Typical for one to feel on overheat when they step into the sunshine in the valley of the sun, but instead of a plea for thirst coming out of my mouth, comes a gasp of relief. Of course there will be mounds of sweat this summer in Arizona but I'm happy. Part of me is discouraged that I didn't finish up in SLC with a degree but I know in my heart that I'm in the right place. Life can bring discouraging news all it wants but it's how we approach the news that molds who we are.

I received a call from my former bishop today to tell me how much he loved me and appreciated my work (although I know it wasn't much because I was in my calling for a mere week). Yesterday I received a letter in the mail from the LDSBC President Larry Richards, "Congratulations for being one of the few students who maintained a 3.7 or higher for the 2008-2009 school year!" It's kinda nice to hear compliments once in a while for all your hard work. :) SLC was not easy, this summer may not be easy here but its definitely been worth it. There and hopefully here now.

I'm still on the search for a summer job to save me money but I've sold quite a lot of things and have made more than expected. Amazing what a little spring cleaning can make you! I don't know what's going to happen this summer but one thing is for certain, I need to remain positive! After all, you never know who's falling in love with your smile. ;)

Decisions.

Decisions are so difficult for me. I've never understood why! I wished I were more decisive and not indecisive. That is how we learn though. Sometimes even when we study out the choices we can still feel mixed up. Wished this wasn't the case.


Funny how the Lord answers your prayers. If you pray for patience, the Lord is going to send you to a classroom full of children. If you want money, the Lord is going to put you in the most challenging job ever.

I prayed if I should be going home, again. I guess I found my answer when the company I put my resume in for in Utah, told me I was not rehire able! I was a little annoyed when I found out why. But relieved when my old boss in Arizona told me she had a job opportunity for me. Coincidence? The Lord is aware of me! I just have to take some deep breaths as I've been whip lashed on this roller coaster ride.

So give me a minute as I catch my breath while I move back to the sunny state of Arizona. :)

Anxious. Excited. Nervous. Happy to go to Arizona for the summer! Wish me luck.

Celebrate GOOD TIMES! :)

What a week. What a month! What a semester... okay. well almost!! :)

School lets out in about... TWO WEEEEEEKS! I can't believe I am almost done with school! okay. well here at least. :)

For those of you who HAVEN'T heard.. I got accepted to both BYU-Idaho and BYU-Hawaii. Through fasting a prayer though my decision was actually one of the clearest decisions I have ever made. On the day I decided to fast, I fully intended to go to BYU-I to study Interior Design. After only a couple hours, I had a strong impression that I needed to rethink that decision. As I knelt in prayer that night I told my Heavenly Father that I was going to Hawaii!! I have NEVER received such a strong confirmation as I did that day. Only a couple days of really studying it out in my mind, and after asking the lord in prayer my bosom did burn that it was the right thing to do. I am grateful for the Lord in giving me options on what I could do! Now I've decided. I will be attending BYU-H this fall for about two years to finish up with my bachelors in Art Education! I can hardly wait. I'm anxious to be involved in a program, an international focused program, to continue to strengthen my knowledge and help others acheive and reach their knowledge, growth and potential.

This week.. one word? Overwhelming. I've never felt so close to the Lord as I have this last month. I have truly been blessing getting answers to prayers constantly one after another. I don't know where to start other than saying, prayer is real. Our HF is very aware of the intentions of our hearts, and minds. After a bishops interview this past week I was reminded of my saviors love for me and my testimony was strengthened of the blessing power that bishops have on this earth. Friends love and families love was reminded to me again and the power of education and teachers.

I am overall grateful for what I've been blessed with. We can't say that enough! Let us be grateful for what we DO have rather than reflecting on things we DON'T have. :)




ps. I'm 21 now!!!! :)

The Gospel is True.

I couldn't help but share about my fantastic day....

At the beginning of the day, my book of mormon class went over to the visitors center at temple square to watch the joseph smith movie. Eventhough I was a little bit late to the movie the spirit was so powerful. I can't even express all the impressions I had in my heart. My "allergies" were really getting to me though. I just kept thinking of how much the pioneers endured back then, from persecution and personal physical tribulations. I thought of something a bishop had said once to the youth of the ward and how the pioneers were looking down on with hope and amazement of what WE have to endure. This thought kept coming to me during the movie andI couldnt help but think how wonderful these people were from these times. Overall my testimony of Joseph Smith grew, not only for the knowledge I have that he was a prophet, but that he was just a GOOD person.

My testimony on temples has dramatically been increased in the last couple weeks too. Just talking about the spirit within the temple walls intices me to learn more.

I yet again had the opportunity to attend the open house for the Draper temple.

As I walked through the temple with one of my closest friends I explained to her that a temple is a place of learning about who we are, where we came from, and what we will become.
She was asking all sorts of questions and her eyes were opened so wide everytime we turned the corner. I was grateful once again to be sealed to a family where I can continue to dwell and progress with them. How simple and precious are the truths of the gospel! They aren't complicated but orderly and so beautiful!

I'm anxious when the time comes to some day go through the temple for myself. To learn in depth about my purpose and help those who are waiting, even at this time, for me to help them cross into paradise. My curiousity continues to grow within me as I continue to learn more and more about this gospel. About the most that I can say is how grateful I am for what I've been blessed with.

Hard Times

About two weeks ago I decided to take "weekend getaway" to Arizona. On the Thursday before after pacing my house back and forth I finally buckled down and bought my ticket around 4AM. I was SO tired but kept debating whether or not to go.

The week prior I was just curious and looked up plane ticket prices for the rest of the semester, nearly 300$. I thought, ridiculous! I'll wait till the fall to visit home again. The week of, I found myself checking online again. Funny that I found myself checking for that weekend... Things started to come in place. I got paid more than I needed to that week, tithing was paid for, my temple recommend was going to expire the day after I would get back (so I could go the weekend I was there), the plane ticket was about 1/4 of price that I thought it would be! Friends tried to convince me that I was crazy, although I already knew that I was. I decided to get on my knees and pray. "Heavenly Father, I'M CRAZY!"..is about all I could get out. I was making a big deal out of it because doing spontaneous trips like that for me was out of the question. All it took was a brother to tell me to "live a little" and a friend to tell me to "just do it", and I was ONE flight away!

I decided if I were to make the trip up to Arizona that I would make the trip for time spent with my parents. I can't believe how homesick I was until I got on the plane. When I got on the plane, after a daze up in the sky, I looked out the window and saw the rocks change colors from white to red. I wanted to cry. I felt my heart swell within me and a smile started to curl up on my face. There is something about home that will never go away. I hoped the feeling wouldn't disappear after seeing surprised looks from my parents! :)

Needless to say, my parents were thrilled to see me but I think I was more rewarding for me being there. There is always much to learn just being in the presence of your parents. The spirit just poured off of them and into my heart that weekend. I was able to go to the temple to do baptisms that weekend and eat lunch with my dad in the cafeteria there. Fortunately enough my mom bore her testimony through the Relief Society lesson on Sunday and the tears rolled fervently down my face. The closing song was "families can be together forever". How appropriate, I thought. The feeling of the song came to my eyes before the words came to my mouth so I just listened through the spirit and the beautiful voices of the women around me. That night I was privileged enough to receive a blessing from my grandfather "poppy". The words that he spoke in the blessing pierced my very heart and I couldn't help but be grateful of the Love he had for me and my Heavenly Father after I heard the words, Amen.



When I came home the spirit dwelt within me for a long time, I felt renewed. Unfortunately, sometimes, the ways of the world have a way of creeping themselves in your heart. I've tried to stay positive as I've noticed some rough patches that I can't avoid in my life but at times it seems nearly impossible. Your environment of which you surround yourself cause huge impact on your life. If you aren't in good situations your unlikely to do your best. Sometimes "home" doesn't feel like home, so I try to make other places in my life, 'home', or a safe haven.

Through each experience in life, there is always a lesson to be learned. Right now I am learning patience and optimism, faith and diligence, prayer and scripture study. By simple gospel principles you can build mountains! I've decided to not get so caught up in the big "truths" of the world but through the small and simple things and I've come to realize the beauty in trials and life. I will just have to keep the attitude of Christ even if it seems that "the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee..." I will try to keep in mind that "all these things shall give me good experience and will be for my good.