Out with The Old, In with The New

Okay. I suppose it's been a while since my last post but LOTS has been happening. So to catch up I'll start backwards a little bit...

Thanksgiving 2009.

LOTS of people joined the feast that was hosted at my brother Trevor's with his wife Lauren. (to name a few... Gwen and Bob Evans -providing most of the food- Stacey, then we had many hale 2 guests and The Ellsworths -Jason, Michelle and Deacon -etc etc.)

December 2009

First, Saying my final goodbyes with some night outs on the bus to kaneohe and kahuku. :)

Jason's graduation! -followed by a delicious lunch provided by kahuku grill. Thank you President Hanneman!!!

Packing up (or lack-there-of)and saying goodbye to Hale 5, friends, even some family. -And of course...THE BEACH!

I guess it didn't hit me so much that I was never coming back to this beautiful place -Hawaii- to live again until these last couple weeks!

Taking out my endownments. The day after Christmas... here we go! I was set to go in the temple. I was so... ready. I wanted to go so bad. I think I was a little blown away at first but when I got to the celestial room to see my mom waiting there with her arms stretched out and then seeing each family member greet me. Words can't describe the LOVE that my Heavenly Father blessed me with. I wouldn't pick another family to spend eternity with.

Hospital Adventures! If you want to call them that...

Grandma Bullock (92) likes to be the center of attention. Unfortunately she came out with a bang, right on her hip. So the day before the wedding -in the midst of running around for Nikki's wedding- we receive a text that grandma Bullock has fallen pretty hard and was off to the ER. More to come!

The Olave Wedding! What an eventful weekend. The minute I got off the plane it was "LET'S GO WEDDING RECEPTION LAST MINUTE SHOPPING!"

It's taken me a while to finally realize what was going on the minute I started zipping up my bridesmaid dress. Not to mention the song I was scheduled to sing but had not practiced until ...well.... that night.

But I think it turned out well. Not to mention, seeing my sister in a wedding gown with the biggest grin of america. One word: STUNNING. She was absolutely GORGEOUS!! And I'm so lucky to have another amazing brother-in-law.

Oh. And we did a little celebrating afterwards. :) mmm. In-and-out!!

New Years Eve with a long time friend... AMBER and SO lucky to have spent it with Ashley Reader as well, then of course there was my brother and all that boys. First we went to Gameworks and then Jesse Larson's parents house. We all thought it was pretty interesting to have a random black man stumble in our driveway bonfire.. but the dance moves he did for us on a tarp in the middle of a road were SO worth it! :)

Let January 2010 begin.

Well everyone's gone. JUST-LIKE-THAT. So it's taking down the Christmas tree, taking people to the airport and time to go missionary clothes shopping!

More Hospital adventures...

This time in rehab. Aunt Tracey (my grandmas daughter) has spent days at her mom's bedside praying and spending time with grandma Bullock.

The day after Tracey leaves the hospital decides she better get to rehab so we can get her walking and doing everyday things again. She still hasn't been home yet and will be in rehab until she gets better. The house is seeming more lonely these days as my parents have been working with nurses and hospitals, family and friends, trying to get things situated with grandma. She is now in a group home under the care of hospice care givers. She's in our hearts and prayers that her faith and the Lord's will will allow her to heal of the pains she is going through at this time.

IT'S A BOY! no no. NOT ME. NIKKI & DOUG ALLEN! That's right. I went to Nikki Allen's baby shower and that night Nikki goes into labor! -Well kind of- 5 weeks early they had to pull the baby out. Everyone is okay. I suppose the Lord answers prayers and puts things in our lives at certain times for a certain reason. Whatever the reason she had Linken Allen early my prayers go out to them at this time. I know they will be the BEST parents that Linken could ever ask for.

Babysitting. In the meantime I've been spending my time in Phoenix watching over my sister Natalie's little boy -Victor Benjamin. Like most people and babies, while we're on the subject, we have our good days and bad but it makes the WHOLE day worth it when I see that one little smile after talking with him.

Foot in my mouth. I've noticed some things I've been saying lately that haven't made much sense. My nerves are getting to me! I've never been more anxious, nervous, excited, about ready to scream, than I am right now in my life.

I'm sorry I've said anything offensive lately you'll have to forgive me as the only thing I've really been focusing on is the "big trip" I have coming up in the next couple weeks.

Connecting ties. I don't really set new years goals until a few weeks in and see what the Lord would like me to do. This year I've noticed the need for friends. As I am nearing the days towards my mission and as I flip through old pictures, numbers, and names I remember some of the BEST times I spent were with friends. Either from Hawaii, Utah, California, Nevada, Arizona, even Peru, Korea, and Russia all my friends have made a difference in my life and have brought me to this point. So I suppose I've been making more of an effort to spend more time with old friends, meeting new friends, and getting to know better the old best friends I once knew. It's been such a wonderful experience and part of me is sorry it's taken me this long to see how amazing some people really are.

SHOPPING SPREE!! kind of. You know me. I like a good shopping adventure. :) Except when you're buying long skirt after long skirt. This has been my one personal adventure to keep me focused on my mission through the hectic weeks. You'd think clothes would steer me off a different kind of path but each new outfit I would try on I would picture a little black name tag on the blouse and would smile to myself. So the shopping adventures are very much worth it! Only two more pairs of shoes and a coat -oh and maybe a couple more cute tops- and I'll be

done.. with the CLOTHES shopping.

Farewell. TO COME. :) For those planning to attend it will be January 31st at 11am in the extension Building. (In Mesa, Arizona)

February 2010....

February 3rd 2010. To the MTC I go! What a crazy life it's led up to this point. OH. if you would like a letter from me... PLEASE send me your address! :)

The Silver Linings on My Grey Clouds

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." Ecc. 3:1

Opening my mission call.

My mission call to Portland, Oregon.

Girl chats with my roommate.

A time to reflect on what I'm grateful for.

Creating Cards.

Waking up for Missionary Preparation with President Wheelwright.

Having the beach just a ten minute walk away.

Service.

Words from ancient prophets close to my finger tips.

Trevor,Lauren and Jason and Michelle moments away.

Afternoons/Mornings with Deacon Kai Ellsworth and mommy.

The Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, coming to Laie, HI.

Pouring rain while laying in my bed taking naps.

Stuffing, Mashed Potatoes and warm homemade rolls.

Gathering around a table with family in friends.

Eating late with friends in the kitchen.

Oreos and Milk.

Knelling in prayer at any time of day.

Saying "ALOHA" to a stranger.

Finally deciding my major.

Starting my major when I come home from my mission.

Being creative.

Breathing fresh air.

"Mahalo!"

Missionary moments.

Finally meeting Victor Benjamin Holman.

December 26th.

The David and Nikki Olave Wedding.

Christmas with the family.

A month to spend with my parents before my mission.

Entering the MTC on February 3, 2010.

You are assigned to labor in the....

OREGON PORTLAND (English Speaking) MISSION!!!

I opened my call on Friday October 30th with some of my family, some on speakerphone, and some of my friends in Hawaii!(That's my brother Trevor that served in Oregon and my brother Josh is on the phone there with him.)

You can watch me opening my call here.
My brother Josh kept asking me what was going through my head. I just said, NOTHING! I have no idea. I'm just anxious. That's the truth. Not much goes through your head when you find out. It's been a letter I've been waiting to receive for MONTHS now and I was just excited to prepare for the next step! As I've received my call I've been doing a lot of "googling" ...."Portland, Oregon", "Portland, OR Mission" ETC. There have been a few blogs I've run into which say they're going to portland oregon on their mission, disappointed is one of the first emotions described. DISAPPOINTED!??? How can people put that about a mission the Lord has called them too. Where apostles pray over where to send you and Heavenly father gives them direct revelation on where they will be needed the most. There are NO coincidences in the gospel. We're sent where we are suppose to go for a reason. HOW EXCITING!! I actually consider going to my brother's mission a tender mercy. I feel like there is someone there to teach that wasn't ready when my brother was there and now I get that opportunity. Perhaps my brother and I had a friend in heaven that we said we would find and baptize that my brother wasn't able to find. Now I get that opportunity. Or perhaps this will just give me an opportunity to draw closer to my brother in our testimonies about missionary work. For whatever reason... I know I have been called there for a purpose. I AM SO EXCITED!
It was great to have friends and family there while I opened my call. (Especially to have my mom in town this weekend!) I'm so thrilled for this next step in my life and pray that my brothers and sisters in portland will except my companion and me in their house and that they will accept Jesus Christ and his gospel in their lives.

Thank you EVERYONE for helping me get thus far in my life! :)

¡Mi llamada estará en el miercoles!! :)

My call will be in on Wednesday!!
I'm so excited!!! I meet with the stake president tomorrow night and then he'll put my calling in. He told me that they process my paperwork and it will take 10-14 days. SO FAST! Except it'll probably feel like forever! I feel like Christmas will come early this year! Part of me is hoping that my call will come sooner than later because my mom is coming out the end of the month.

I calculated it and the latest that I would get my calling would be (if we're talking business days) October 26th. My mom will come out the 29th. Just a couple days of waiting to open it while she's here! Although it may seem stressful to wait. I think I could contain myself for a couple days... maybe.
I was talking to my mom the other day and I am actually more excited to go through the temple! I can not WAIT to take out my endowments and finally be able to go through the temple on my own. I'm looking forward to the day to see all my family together in white. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking it.

What a busy/crazy year this has been for me and for my family! Two of my sisters are going to be due here at anytime, my other sister is getting married and I will be getting a mission call! My mom is probably going insane. :)

Oh this is more for my family but... SAVE THE DATE... As soon as I get my mission call and speak with my stake president I'll call the mesa temple but I'm pretty sure that I'll be taking out my endowments on December 26th! (I know, that's right in the middle of things but I get in to Arizona on the 23rd and this was the only day that really was free on the temple calendar before Nikki's wedding. So I'm extending an informal invite to my brothers and sisters & in-laws that anyone that wants to join me for taking out my endowments that day is welcome to join me in white!)

I'm praying that I get sent somewhere where the Lord needs me. Where I can use my talents to the greatest of my ability. Some place that will be challenging but still attainable to do the work. Somewhere were I will meet people that only I can help. I pray that the Lord is preparing them as he has been preparing me that when I meet them we may both be edified and rejoice together! I'm going to find my brothers and sisters that have been waiting to enter into the covenant. I am getting nervous and satan has been doing all he can to stop this from happening for me but I feel like with the Lord's help that I have been SO greatly blessed! I am so anxious for these next steps in my life, for the blessings that will come to me and my family as we both prepare together. SO EXCITING!!! :) These next few months are going to be crazy but also amazing!! I look forward to the preparations and the next steps in life!

Oh and my dad challenged us to read the Book of Mormon and so for me I'm challenging myself to reread it and finish it before I go to the temple! I am praying that with this challenge that the Lord will bless me and that I in return to be able to better prepare myself. Anyone who's going to the temple with me is more than welcome to join in the challenge! :)

YOU Are a Child of God.

You... YES YOU -are a child of God.

I've been learning a lot of valuable lessons in the deepest effect possible that has helped me realize the very nature of god, who we are and what we can become. The greatest lesson I've been learning is our time here on earth is precious and that we literally are sons and daughters of God. The Lord has been blessed me with a lot of trials some that others have experienced that I have been able to see through their eyes while I told their hand. Other trials have literally been when I was in the very flames of satan. Through each of these I've seen the hand of God in my life. This is the beauty of life. Our savior is aware of what we can handle and what we must go through to know who we are and know who he is, to better appreciate the foundation of life, the atonement.

This weekend I had a scare as one of my close friends/residents decided to overdose. Through the events that took place all within 6 hours of going to hospital, etc I was shocked at the effect it would have on her best friend and her. I didn't know how to comfort or how to take in all that was going on. When I sat there staring at my friend in the hospital bed the spirit hit me very strong and one word came to mind, pray. I prayed my hardest for comfort for the friends around her and for the health of my friend. I prayed that she would realize who she is and just prayed that we would all get through it. As I finished the prayer I looked up and wiped the tears from my eyes. My eyes turned to my friends frail body in the bed and I noticed that she started to speak. She started to talk a lot to her friends around her, she started to regain consciousness. The first lesson I learned that day was the power of prayer. Through the remainder of the weekend and the events that followed I realized her actions had a huge effect on her friends around her. I realized she didn't know the effects it would have and I realized how much the lord loves us. As she was released from the hospital and came into my room I sat her down and spoke boldly.

"The Lord loves you. You are a daughter of God." The rest of what I spoke about is history. The fine and minor details of the story seep into the cracks as I think about the main lesson that was being taught during this whole experience. You are a child of God. What does that mean?? The very beauty of the Gospel is that we are children of our heavenly father. Christ himself knows what its like when a person thinks sucicidal thoughts. He knows what it's like to be hooked up to IVs. He knows the thoughts and pains that a friend goes through watching their friend laying helplessly in a hospital bed. The atonement is real. It is only through the atonement that we can realize who we are and what we can become. Our Savior has great faith and courage in us. We need to do our part and believe in ourselves.

Sometimes we are put through the refiner's fire so that we may appreciate the savior's hand in our life. Through this whole experience I have also realized that EVERY soul is great in the sight of God. Without him we are nothing. With him we are everything. The atonement is real and we can become like our savior someday, only through him. Whatever that takes, we will be able to someday be like him. The idea of this is POWERFUL! ....WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

I Hope They Call Me On A Mission

For those who aren't aware yet, I'm getting ready to go on a mission!

This semester has been extremely hard for me only because I was focusing on mission papers more than my school and work. I'm afraid I didn't try my best this term but, I think the end results will be well worth it when I open my mailbox in a few weeks and see my call waiting for me!

About a 4 years ago upon praying about a serious relationship I received a strong desire to serve in the Lord's kingdom and becoming a missionary instead. As the years have passed my desire has grown even stronger. One year ago I prayed about leaving Utah to go home and start preparing for a mission, the Lord however had other goals in mind. I instead went to LDSBC and when Christmas came I thought a mission was the next thing to do. However once again the Lord had other plans in mind. The Lord saw fit for me to learn the importance of his time. Over the next semester I fear I've become my worst enemy, Prideful and stubborn. I wanted to serve so bad and wasn't paying attention to the Lord's timing. I was focusing on my own timing in life. During an adventurous semester I went home for a weekend and received a blessing from my grandfather. The blessing was powerful and encouraging inviting me to have the spirit in my life and to continue to endure. I started to live my life in Salt Lake. When the semester came to an end I was so lost of what to do next. Over a lot of moving within the next 3 months I found myself in Hawaii! Not sure about my major or if a mission was even in the picture anymore. I decided to seriously consider my options that were ahead. I prayed and fasted and started thinking mission thoughts again.

One Sunday as my brother laid his hands on my head the spirit worked within my heart, and even into my tears. I began to rejoice as if I heard the voice of the Lord saying "my dear and faithful servant" the spirit worked so powerfully within me, now was my time to start preparing for a mission. Oh the power of priesthood! I will never forget that blessing, the spirit that I felt. Little did I know that Satan also began to develop plans of his own. My brother gave me a warning to my decision as he said satan would work hard on me for the next couple weeks. Soon I found out that would be an understatement!

For the last few weeks I've been working earnestly to get paperwork done. Once again I have been tested with the "lord's timing" and the trial of patience. When I get on my knees to pray I feel comforted. When I exclaim to others that I will be serving a full time mission the spirit fills my heart. I know that the Lord is aware of me. I know that the Satan is trying his hardest to keep me from spreading the work that needs to be done. But, I also know that no unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing.

I have received my answer to serve the Lord and I anxiously look forward to entering the mission field. It will be a tough next few months as I anxiously leave for my mission but I know that it will be of most rewarding to me.
My current status?? I finished my mission papers! I spoke with my bishop on sunday and he will then forward his recommendation to my stake president. I will then meet with my stake president and he will submit my mission papers to church headquarters. I wrote him an e-mail yesterday and he said after my mission papers are submitted it should take up to 10-14 days to receive my mission call. I hope that that means I'll be receiving my mission call by the end of the month or at the beginning of October!

Please pray for me that the next few months go smoothly for me as I will continue to pray for you. I will let everyone know my mission call soon! :)

Working. Waiting. Willing.

The Lord brings us low so he can lift us high.

There has been huge trials in my life lately, mostly with patience. After receiving an answer to my prayers lately and trying to follow it out I've been blessed with trials. I'm slowly becoming humbled. You might think it's funny that I say "blessed with trials" but let me explain.

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if you just simply asked for something and received it without out working for it? Isn't this the same principle of stealing? It's not just a law on earth to work for what we need, it comes from God. After receiving answers to prayers we need to work, or act upon our answers. A couple deciding to get married doesn't just decide to get married and that's the end of their happy lives. Although at times watching "Cinderella" and "The Little Mermaid" I thought that happily ever after meant just that. No. Since when did "work" become just a bad word anyway? We can have fun working. We can have building each other up and helping and serving each other all the while doing it.

I am grateful for this waiting period in my life right now because the Lord is blessing me an opportunity to keep studying out the decision in my mind, preparing, and a time for repentance. The Lord gives us a waiting period in life or a "work" period in life so we can be even more grateful when the blessing(s) come! It may be going to the temple together with your fiance after a long engagement, wedding preparation period. It may be that new missionary checking the mail and finding their call in the mailbox after a month of reopening their mailbox. It may even be that moment that a new mother screams "my water broke!" after a 9 month period of swelling feet or restless sleep nights.

Whatever the situation in life the Lord prepares us. Or at least gives us the time to prepare ourselves. The feeling with each of these situations we become even more grateful when we are able to look back at the "HARDEST TIMES" and think to ourselves, "Well. That wasn't so bad!"

Life may be hard right now but the waiting period is worth it. The preparation period is worth it. There is a scripture in Alma that reads "Go forth... yet ye shall be patient in long suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good example unto them in me." We must be examples of Christ during times of affliction or during our "waiting periods" of life. Then finally when that time comes where our pride is humbled, when we've laid down our guards, the lord will say "well done". There is no greater feeling than to know you could have done all that you could.

The Lord will bless us when we least expect it but we have to be willing to work during the waiting period and willing to come unto Him in the end.